I figured that during this three week break I would become more sure about wanting to stay a second year or more at Mayatan. All of these things that I have been plagued by in teaching I'm beginning to learn are just the hazards of being a teacher. That has helped me to not get as down on myself if I have a bad day. However, this has also contributed to my thinking, "do I really want to go through this every day/week/month/year?"
I have become more sure of two things this break....I for sure am in love with Mayatan, Copan, and my students and want to stay longer for them. I am also more sure of the fact that I am not going to be a teacher for life (I also said going into college teaching wasn't for me...I'm opening my mouth so there's room for my other foot perhaps). I love the town, the school, my students, but I can't see myself as a teacher for my life. It's such a hard and draining job. It's been getting better slowly as I've become more and more accustomed to the job...but still..it's draining!:)
There are days that I get along great with the kids and I think that they all love me and love class and it's just a great day. But then there are still those days in which I come home and I'm pretty sure that my students don't like me at all and hope that I just stay home instead of coming back at Christmas. I think that both those extremes are foolish, but I feel like the life of a teacher combined with my life is a life of extremes. Extremely bad days, extremely good days, and extremely interesting days.:)
Thursday, December 27, 2007
Saturday, December 15, 2007
Lo que extrañaré
Lots of other teacher have been getting really excited about going home for Christmas and the prospect of all sorts of things, ranging from carpet to friends. I was super excited about going home like a week ago, but over the course of the past week I have been almost dreading leaving Copan. I really like it here! I can’t help but compare it to how I felt about Spain. In Spain I had a list in November of things I wanted to come home to. Included in this list was; chocolate chip cookies, chocolate balls, carpet, no more ugly dogs, being able to drive, having lots of different friends around all the time, American traditions, American culture, not having to order things in Spanish, etc. But here those are all things that I wouldn’t even include in a list if I were making one. I haven’t even thought about making a list of things that I miss because for everything that I miss about the states I’m going to miss at least one thing (if not two) about Copan.
What I won’t miss is “lucha libra,” also known as WWE. Today I found two kids fighting in the hallway, let’s call them boy 1 and boy 2. I called them over and boy 2 explained that boy 1 was picking on boy 3 so he stepped in to break it up. Long story short, I took them to the office and had Norma (who was just there for today) talk to them about why they were fighting. Boy 1 has now been to the office 3 times for fighting, boy 2 five times, and boy 3 three times. Norma let boy 3 go cause he was the “victim” but called the parents of the other two. Come to learn that there’s been a fight between them for some amount of time now. Boy 1’s mom had this response to her son fighting with boy 2, “good for him! I’ve told him that he has permission to hit that kid! I’m tired of him being picked on and he can fight back when he wants to!” In fact, boy 1 has done just that, one time he got a bunch of his friends and went to find boy 2 to beat him up, luckily they never encountered one another. I can’t believe that this kids parents have given him permission to try and beat up another kid! It’s freaking ridiculous! And I wonder why some days I have trouble with kids fighting in my classroom….go figure. So on the list of things that I miss, the top ten list just has one thing on it, “lucha libre.” Oh stupid lucha libre…
What I won’t miss is “lucha libra,” also known as WWE. Today I found two kids fighting in the hallway, let’s call them boy 1 and boy 2. I called them over and boy 2 explained that boy 1 was picking on boy 3 so he stepped in to break it up. Long story short, I took them to the office and had Norma (who was just there for today) talk to them about why they were fighting. Boy 1 has now been to the office 3 times for fighting, boy 2 five times, and boy 3 three times. Norma let boy 3 go cause he was the “victim” but called the parents of the other two. Come to learn that there’s been a fight between them for some amount of time now. Boy 1’s mom had this response to her son fighting with boy 2, “good for him! I’ve told him that he has permission to hit that kid! I’m tired of him being picked on and he can fight back when he wants to!” In fact, boy 1 has done just that, one time he got a bunch of his friends and went to find boy 2 to beat him up, luckily they never encountered one another. I can’t believe that this kids parents have given him permission to try and beat up another kid! It’s freaking ridiculous! And I wonder why some days I have trouble with kids fighting in my classroom….go figure. So on the list of things that I miss, the top ten list just has one thing on it, “lucha libre.” Oh stupid lucha libre…
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
El Deseo
Some days I get home from school and just have this great desire to do nothing. I spend all day trying and trying with these kids just hoping that they learn something. There are days that I feel great, like I could teach class standing on my head and the kids would still understand. There are other days in which no matter how hard I try, no matter what I try to tell them they don't want to pay attention and they don't want to try and learn. What ever happened to those days when kids wanted to learn? Oh right, that's not in middle school, that's back in elementary school. I have thought so much about staying a second or third or fifteenth year but it's challenging when certain I come home knowing that I haven't taught anything to the kids. I was hoping that things wouldbe better with the new teacher here but I still just can't get a handle sometimes on how the kids behave. It seems that there are certain days in which I show up without a lot of energy and those are definitely the worst days! If I don't have energy to deal with the kids then they just run wild (like today). Maybe if I had some feedback from people about my teaching style and how I interact with the kids then I could change how I run the class...maybe learn something. After all, almost none of us teachers have any experience, a little feedback would be nice to have in this situation. Oh well...what can you do but just survive to see another day of chaos and class?:)
The Traditional Untradition
For the second time in three years I’m spending Thanksgiving outside of the states. More importantly I’m spending the holiday away from my family. Is this becoming a tradition or something? I was pretty bummed to not be spending Thanksgiving in Yakima with all my family. Although I don’t know most of their names, and we tend to play more card games than talk to each other, it’s the Thanksgiving get together!
Down here we had dinner at the Hotel Marina Copan. It’s one of the nicest in town and the food was a close imitation of American Thanksgiving. I arrived about 10 minutes late (although technically on time here in Honduras) because I was taking a nap. The first half hour or so was really awkward as I was still waking up and didn’t feel much like small talk. We did the usual small talk…making fun of how the group always splits into the “gringos” and “indios.” I don’t really like how we always divide like that, it’s just the natural thing to do. I got to sit at a table with Norma, Marisol, and Rudy. They are all Honduran staff at Mayatan and they are a hoot!
We told all sorts of funny stories and made fun of the “solitaria” (essentially a tape worm) that I have in my stomach because I tend to eat more than the normal person does. However, tonight I just had a regular amount of food, just for the record.:) This is the second Thanksgiving in the past three years that despite not being around family I have been around people that I love and it’s been great. The people down here are amazing and we had an excellent conversation filled with English, Spanish, and Spanglish.
Paige and Ty are due to arrive at any time from San Pedro and I’m getting kind of excited. I should really go to bed because it’s almost 10pm as I write this but I’m trying to stay up for them. 10pm might not seem that late to all of you but when I walked back from Marina Copan at 9:30 this place was a ghost town! I actually love it, not gonna lie.:)
Down here we had dinner at the Hotel Marina Copan. It’s one of the nicest in town and the food was a close imitation of American Thanksgiving. I arrived about 10 minutes late (although technically on time here in Honduras) because I was taking a nap. The first half hour or so was really awkward as I was still waking up and didn’t feel much like small talk. We did the usual small talk…making fun of how the group always splits into the “gringos” and “indios.” I don’t really like how we always divide like that, it’s just the natural thing to do. I got to sit at a table with Norma, Marisol, and Rudy. They are all Honduran staff at Mayatan and they are a hoot!
We told all sorts of funny stories and made fun of the “solitaria” (essentially a tape worm) that I have in my stomach because I tend to eat more than the normal person does. However, tonight I just had a regular amount of food, just for the record.:) This is the second Thanksgiving in the past three years that despite not being around family I have been around people that I love and it’s been great. The people down here are amazing and we had an excellent conversation filled with English, Spanish, and Spanglish.
Paige and Ty are due to arrive at any time from San Pedro and I’m getting kind of excited. I should really go to bed because it’s almost 10pm as I write this but I’m trying to stay up for them. 10pm might not seem that late to all of you but when I walked back from Marina Copan at 9:30 this place was a ghost town! I actually love it, not gonna lie.:)
Thursday, November 8, 2007
Gustavo!
Man, how could I have forgotten to put this on here? Last week I’m in the middle of class with seventh grade when up walks Rudy (music prof) sweeping the floor outside my classroom. Then I realize, he’s not sweeping the floor, he’s sweeping the gigantic tarantula! The kids all jump out of their seats to see it, but of course nobody wants to even try and touch it. One of the kids put him on a piece of paper and then passed him into a glass box we have in the science room. There we let him sit for two days without food or water. Then on Thursday morning he was looking pretty sickly. We had already named him Gustavo and decided to keep him. So instead of having computers with the 9th graders we collected grasshoppers and pulled off their back legs so they couldn’t jump out of the box. Then we put some water in the box. By mid-day on Thursday Gustavo was looking pretty good. So for 8th grade science we made Gustavo a place to live. He now has lots of dirt, rocks, sticks, and even a cave in which to live! I think that he is finding his new glass box home quite enjoyable compared to his old, boring life of freedom. He doesn’t have to worry about getting lost, eaten by other things, or tired from too much running around. The question is, “how could he not love this new life?”
I am going to pass him off to the new science teacher, Nicki, and she can worry about what to feed him and how to feed him. I had a science book that said tarantulas eat bugs, insects, and beetles (not the band). We’ll see if he’s still alive tomorrow when I go into school. I’m writing this Monday night and we didn’t have school today because of Miriam’s funeral yesterday. I hope we don’t need another velorio and funeral procession for Gustavo.
-Cheque, he was alive...and still is.:)
I am going to pass him off to the new science teacher, Nicki, and she can worry about what to feed him and how to feed him. I had a science book that said tarantulas eat bugs, insects, and beetles (not the band). We’ll see if he’s still alive tomorrow when I go into school. I’m writing this Monday night and we didn’t have school today because of Miriam’s funeral yesterday. I hope we don’t need another velorio and funeral procession for Gustavo.
-Cheque, he was alive...and still is.:)
Sunday, November 4, 2007
La Muerte No Significa El Fin
Yesterday afternoon I was given the sad news that our first grade assistant, Miriam, passed away from a massive stroke that she suffered several weeks back. There was a brain bleed that would not stay clotted and doctors could do nothing for her. Unfortunately she never made it back from the hospital in San Pedro, but passed away en route. Last night everybody dropped everything to plan and attend a huge vigil for her in which her body was placed in the church and people could come say one last good-bye to her if they so desired. I definitely did not desire, I know what she looked like just fine.:)
It was sad to say good-bye to a friend. Even sadder because she was only about 41 and left behind two younger daughters. One is only in fourth grade at Mayatan! She did not have a husband and so the children are left with family members in town. I'm not exactly in the best mood after this weekend, but it was such a different and awesome way to have a funeral. The vigil was a great time to just sit with other friends of Miriam's and chat. I got to know a couple of new people and get caught up with old friends. Well...old friends here in Copan for me are people I met 2 months ago.:) Fortunately the family is well taken care of by friends and supported by all of us at the school. It was not the most desirable weekend I've ever had, but I was glad to be in the area and hopefully be of some help to the family...
It was sad to say good-bye to a friend. Even sadder because she was only about 41 and left behind two younger daughters. One is only in fourth grade at Mayatan! She did not have a husband and so the children are left with family members in town. I'm not exactly in the best mood after this weekend, but it was such a different and awesome way to have a funeral. The vigil was a great time to just sit with other friends of Miriam's and chat. I got to know a couple of new people and get caught up with old friends. Well...old friends here in Copan for me are people I met 2 months ago.:) Fortunately the family is well taken care of by friends and supported by all of us at the school. It was not the most desirable weekend I've ever had, but I was glad to be in the area and hopefully be of some help to the family...
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
My Second Casa Copaneca
This has been coming for a little while but I can finally tell you all! I moved this weekend into another house down here in Copan. It’s a long story and I don’t really need to get into all the details but Tyler and I were feeling pretty awkward in our living situation with a guy down here so we decided to talk to him last week. It was just a weird conversation and for the sake of all of us we decided to move out and find a new place. We decided on Wednesday last week to talk with the school and see about moving and here we are, six days later, sitting in our very own apartment. We’re living with a third teacher from the school, Blair, and our apartment is even sweeter than the previous location. We have three bedrooms, three bathrooms, huge living room, nice dining room and kitchen, plus a freaking rooftop! On our roof there’s a hammock and really just a sweet view of the city and a nice place to hang out when it’s not too hot. I’ll have to post pictures as soon as I can. The place is closer to the city, which is a little downside because things will be more expensive, but the plus is it’s right by an awesome restaurant called Picame, which has awesome burgers and baleadas.:) When you come visit now, yes you, there will be a spare bed downstairs in which you can sleep without any problems.
My one hope is that we don’t turn into a huge hangout place for all of the American teachers down here. I really like the connections that we have made with the Honduran teachers and I want to keep that up. I’m hoping to still make time on the weekends for visits to all of the teachers houses and time to hang out with various families. I’m sad to be leaving all of the families that we’ve gotten to know in the area around where we were living, but this will be such a better situation. Woo sweet houses and our very own apartment!
My one hope is that we don’t turn into a huge hangout place for all of the American teachers down here. I really like the connections that we have made with the Honduran teachers and I want to keep that up. I’m hoping to still make time on the weekends for visits to all of the teachers houses and time to hang out with various families. I’m sad to be leaving all of the families that we’ve gotten to know in the area around where we were living, but this will be such a better situation. Woo sweet houses and our very own apartment!
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