Stand-By

I’m not talking about the flight stand-by….I’m talking about the teaching stand-by. There are the normal stand-by days in which I show up and find out that I’m subbing for the day. That can be hard sometimes cause I don’t always know what it is that I’m supposed to do. It usually turns out not so bad though because I just have to survive the day. Then there are the stand-by days in which I’m advised ahead of time and have time to look over plans/create my own beforehand. Those are the really good days because I know what’s happening and I can sort of cut and paste to the plans as I see fit…most teachers don’t have a problem with that.:)
Then there are the other stand-by days...these are the tough ones. These are the days in which a teacher is feeling very frustrated and down on themselves about their lack of teaching ability. These are the days that I just wonder…am I going to be taking over for this teacher when/if they leave at Christmas? These are the hard days because it’s so difficult as a first year teacher! Kids don’t learn anything, you have no control, you spend all your time outside of school working, and despite all that nothing improves. At least that’s what it feels like a lot of the time. I want to tell them, “I promise that it gets better!”
At first I selfishly wanted all the teachers to stay so that I could stay in my dream job of the library/subbing. But now I’m beginning to think that I’m indifferent. For the kids it would be nice to have the same teacher all year long to at least have a year long consistency (as year to year consistency doesn’t exist); but for me I think that I would be alright taking over a classroom. I’m picking out what grades I would say yes to and which ones I would say no to…there are some classes that I favor.:) When some come to the library Diana and I say, “oh good! I’m so excited they’re coming!” And then there are the other classes…”How about I go eat lunch and you just stay here for the next class?”:)