The BEST “Oops I Crapped My Pants” Story EVER

I warn you ahead of time that this is not a pleasant story and is fairly inappropriate if you don’t like these kinds of stories…but it is worth reading.:) We’ll call the main character here Jose just for kicks.
Jose was in Santa Rita (about 8km away from Copán) with some friends at a conference. They all drove there together in a pick-up (most people in the back of course). All of the sudden he really had to go to the bathroom but there wasn’t one at the conference. Next door there was a house under construction and so he went over to the house and decided to do his business there. But there wasn’t any toilet paper of course so he took off his under shirt to wipe and then left his t-shirt there. He gets all done and ready to go back to the conference but he has to go to the bathroom again! So he went back to the construction site and once again did his thing, but then what was he going to wipe with!? He took off his boxers and wiped with that and left them there at the construction site.
This part of the story was sufficient enough for me but then Patti kept going on telling me about the story…
Now Jose was all finished and on his way back to the conference when this time there was no warning….he crapped his pants! He had no underwear on and it was not a pretty site apparently. Now completely embarrassed there was no way that he could accept a ride back with all of his friends with that humiliation and stinky odor. So he decided that he would have to walk all the way back to Copán at 9pm! He was so ashamed in fact that he couldn’t accept a ride from anybody who passed by. He had to go several times along the road back to Copán and each time he just had to go on the side of the road. At one point he was going to the bathroom again when a whole truckload of people passed by. Worried that some of them might be friends who would recognize him he threw himself face down (butt up) on the side of the road. He made it all the way back to Copán and when he got home he had to call his wife to open the front gate. As soon as she let him in she made him immediately go take a shower and throw his pants outside in the dumpster.
Concluding the whole story Patti says to me, “Do you have a similar story? Don’t be shy, we’re all friends here.” How can somebody possibly have a similar story?!