Monday, December 21, 2009
Brian & Regan
I had this crazy dream (I don't know what it is that I only remember ridiculous ones). So I'm at school, I think down in Honduras, but I'm a student, not a teacher. And since I'm part of the group that gives tours of our town to people when they come in I had the opportunity to give a tour to a group that was coming in. Apparently our director Megan had some friends coming in named Brian and Regan (Could this be related to Brian Regan? Maybe...) and so she asked if anybody wanted to give a tour. Of course I didn't want to but it turned out that everybody else just stood up and left. So I decided sure, I guess I can do it. Things were going fine on our tour until I realized that instead of a pair of lame people it was actually the comedian Brian Regan, only in this dream he was split into two people, and they were both females, around 24, single, and flirting with me. So naturally when they wanted to stop at the jewelery store I said yes. I was helping one of them pick out a ring for her mom when she asked, "Can I put whipped cream on your neck?" Well of course! So I go down on my knees, head down and leaning forward so that she could put whipped cream on my neck. Then the other one came over and poured hair dye into my hair. It was a bright orange throw up type color, and permanent. I forget the reason why, I think because I wouldn't take her sky diving. They were both laughing cause this was their plan all along apparently. Then there's a fire alarm so I go outside with my friends David and Cody who are suddenly there. We get into the field with everybody else, but there is some confusion where we are supposed to go. Then we get on the bus and sit right behind Megan who seems to be staring at my hair. Come to find out that her friends aren't Brian and Regan, their actual name is the Hair Stripers...go figure. So since the fire alarm is going off we decide to all head out to the hot springs for the evening. But the alarm stops before we can leave. So back inside we go for a conference that's suddenly planned. We're switching rooms all the time but when I switch rooms I can't find my shoe! And this happens in each room over and over and over. I get to the new room and can't find my shoe. Decide that I'll track it down later, then magically am wearing my shoes when I leave. Get to the next room and I don't have my shoes, blah blah blah. Why am I so bizarre?
Saturday, August 29, 2009
Repairman for a Day...or Two
I recently acquired my car from my cousin who had been taking care of her for the past year I was gone. She told me, “there are just a few problems...” One being that the drivers side window kind of goes down and kind of goes up. This was a problem when I turned the car over to her, yet the motor had managed to almost officially die. The motor, if you will, went onto hospice.
I asked my brother, “how do you fix a window motor?” “Oh simple, just pop off the door panel, take out the old one, and put in the new one!” If only it were so simple....yet I didn’t know this until many hours into the project! So early Thursday morning I embarked on a mission that would take me two trips to Shucks, countless efforts of looking for help online, and a lot of guessing/hoping/praying.
What was supposed to be a quick morning fix on Thursday was finally completed in time for lunch on Friday. I tried, I guessed, and I conquered....mostly. The monetary cost was significantly cheaper than taking it to a mechanic, but the non-monetary cost may turn out to be quite high. I busted one place intended once upon a time for a screw. So there are now two screws, not three, holding my door together. I busted a small panel on the door, but that was easily fixed with a few extra screws. And the kicker on the home repair....I tried the window when we were all done....I took a deep breath....waited....and pushed....nothing....I tried again....I pushed down on the power window button....nothing....I took another deep breath....looked at my dad....and pushed up....IT WORKED! When I pushed up on the window button it went down, and when I pushed down it went up. So in a sense, yes, the window works perfectly!
I asked my brother, “how do you fix a window motor?” “Oh simple, just pop off the door panel, take out the old one, and put in the new one!” If only it were so simple....yet I didn’t know this until many hours into the project! So early Thursday morning I embarked on a mission that would take me two trips to Shucks, countless efforts of looking for help online, and a lot of guessing/hoping/praying.
What was supposed to be a quick morning fix on Thursday was finally completed in time for lunch on Friday. I tried, I guessed, and I conquered....mostly. The monetary cost was significantly cheaper than taking it to a mechanic, but the non-monetary cost may turn out to be quite high. I busted one place intended once upon a time for a screw. So there are now two screws, not three, holding my door together. I busted a small panel on the door, but that was easily fixed with a few extra screws. And the kicker on the home repair....I tried the window when we were all done....I took a deep breath....waited....and pushed....nothing....I tried again....I pushed down on the power window button....nothing....I took another deep breath....looked at my dad....and pushed up....IT WORKED! When I pushed up on the window button it went down, and when I pushed down it went up. So in a sense, yes, the window works perfectly!
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Most Terrifying Moment
So these dumb dogs have this habit of waking me up at 3 or 4 in the morning in order to go outside. Other than annoyed I haven't thought much of it until tonight. Now, let me take this back just one or two days for a second....there was a news story about a dog that was attacked by a raccoon. The dog lost it's leg and was only saved when it's owner detached the raccoon. I said something jokingly like, "Maybe I'll find a raccoon in the backyard one night." Why did I have to open my mouth like that?
Ok, back to these dogs and tonight. I take them outside and immediately they go running outside barking, including Fetch dog. And the more curious part is that they don't go to the back corner, they go running to one of the bushes barking and then, suddenly, yelping. All the dogs are barking bloody murder and my mind immediately starts racing! Luckily there is a small light that I figured out how to turn on just last night so I could see a little bit of what was happening. Diaper dog comes running out of the bushes followed by a gigantic cat! That's funny, the cat is huge! Way bigger than the pug! And it has black and white stripes on it...hmmmm. I immediately freak out and start yelling at the raccoon (not about to chase after a raccoon twice the size of a pug when it's angry!). I'm clapping and yelling at it while Sausage and Diaper dog come back to me I shove them inside (without his diaper but who cares). Then I hear the dogs move towards the back corner, it's down to Water dog and Fetch dog....Water dog looks pitiful and is now just standing under a tree (what do you expect from him?), so I run over, pick him up, and shove him back inside. Fetch dog (probably the most aggressive of the four) is still in the bushes barking at something. I don't want to go back in the bushes and grab him cause who knows if the raccoon is still there or not! But then, maybe I should go back and get him for that very same reason, I might stand a better chance against a raccoon than a 20 pound (on a good day) dog. I run inside looking for a flashlight (luckily I had explored the kitchen from day one), find a small one that works and sprint back out the door. It's just powerful enough to make out something gigantic moving across the fence and now I hear Fetch dog barking (a good sign that he's still alive) but on the other side of the small fence! He's jumped a 3+ft fence in search of this guy! I quick run next door to the neighbor's house and without regard for privacy sprint around their house and through their backyard to the side Fetch dog is still barking on. I see him running up and down the fence chasing the raccoon that is running back and forth on top of the fence. I run up, grab Fetch dog, and sprint back to the house, breathing a sigh of relief as I'm safely inside with all four dogs. I examine all dogs a quick run-over and amazingly enough the only blood that I spot on any of them is on Fetch dog and without any cuts or bits on him I'm assuming it's from the raccoon...serious?* These are some bad-ass dogs! Who knew?
*Scratch that comment, I spoke too soon. Fetch dog was not putting any weight on his right leg this morning and I examined more closely. He did have a small bite, so he's at the vet now getting it cleaned and taken care of.
Ok, back to these dogs and tonight. I take them outside and immediately they go running outside barking, including Fetch dog. And the more curious part is that they don't go to the back corner, they go running to one of the bushes barking and then, suddenly, yelping. All the dogs are barking bloody murder and my mind immediately starts racing! Luckily there is a small light that I figured out how to turn on just last night so I could see a little bit of what was happening. Diaper dog comes running out of the bushes followed by a gigantic cat! That's funny, the cat is huge! Way bigger than the pug! And it has black and white stripes on it...hmmmm. I immediately freak out and start yelling at the raccoon (not about to chase after a raccoon twice the size of a pug when it's angry!). I'm clapping and yelling at it while Sausage and Diaper dog come back to me I shove them inside (without his diaper but who cares). Then I hear the dogs move towards the back corner, it's down to Water dog and Fetch dog....Water dog looks pitiful and is now just standing under a tree (what do you expect from him?), so I run over, pick him up, and shove him back inside. Fetch dog (probably the most aggressive of the four) is still in the bushes barking at something. I don't want to go back in the bushes and grab him cause who knows if the raccoon is still there or not! But then, maybe I should go back and get him for that very same reason, I might stand a better chance against a raccoon than a 20 pound (on a good day) dog. I run inside looking for a flashlight (luckily I had explored the kitchen from day one), find a small one that works and sprint back out the door. It's just powerful enough to make out something gigantic moving across the fence and now I hear Fetch dog barking (a good sign that he's still alive) but on the other side of the small fence! He's jumped a 3+ft fence in search of this guy! I quick run next door to the neighbor's house and without regard for privacy sprint around their house and through their backyard to the side Fetch dog is still barking on. I see him running up and down the fence chasing the raccoon that is running back and forth on top of the fence. I run up, grab Fetch dog, and sprint back to the house, breathing a sigh of relief as I'm safely inside with all four dogs. I examine all dogs a quick run-over and amazingly enough the only blood that I spot on any of them is on Fetch dog and without any cuts or bits on him I'm assuming it's from the raccoon...serious?* These are some bad-ass dogs! Who knew?
*Scratch that comment, I spoke too soon. Fetch dog was not putting any weight on his right leg this morning and I examined more closely. He did have a small bite, so he's at the vet now getting it cleaned and taken care of.
Monday, August 10, 2009
Potty Break
Every time I take these dogs outside it's the same thing:
1) They all go running outside barking into the back corner of the fence (minus fetch dog that drops the ball at the door and waits).
2) Sausage dog grabs her stuffed animal and shakes it for a while in her mouth, then pees on it.
3) Diaper dog goes running around the whole time barking at birds in the trees, the fence, fetch dog, airplanes, helicopters, the barbecue, and the gate.
4) Water dog (now named that way for the amount of water he drinks then spits up on the floor) just stands at my feet once he's done barking at the back corner and he does nothing.
5) Fetch dog continues to play fetch despite the barking and standing going on around him.
6) Sausage is now done with her stuffed animal and tries to have a poop but is usually constipated so she just squats for a half minute. Then drags her bottom across the grass.
7) Diaper dog is now barking at a bush.
8) Fetch dog is still bringing the ball back to me.
9) Sausage is all done now and just sits in the grass awkwardly.
10) Fetch dog gets the ball, stops by the water dish for a drink, and brings it back to me to keep playing.
11) Water dog is still standing.
12) I get bored and bring the dogs in (not before putting diaper dog's diaper back on him).
1) They all go running outside barking into the back corner of the fence (minus fetch dog that drops the ball at the door and waits).
2) Sausage dog grabs her stuffed animal and shakes it for a while in her mouth, then pees on it.
3) Diaper dog goes running around the whole time barking at birds in the trees, the fence, fetch dog, airplanes, helicopters, the barbecue, and the gate.
4) Water dog (now named that way for the amount of water he drinks then spits up on the floor) just stands at my feet once he's done barking at the back corner and he does nothing.
5) Fetch dog continues to play fetch despite the barking and standing going on around him.
6) Sausage is now done with her stuffed animal and tries to have a poop but is usually constipated so she just squats for a half minute. Then drags her bottom across the grass.
7) Diaper dog is now barking at a bush.
8) Fetch dog is still bringing the ball back to me.
9) Sausage is all done now and just sits in the grass awkwardly.
10) Fetch dog gets the ball, stops by the water dish for a drink, and brings it back to me to keep playing.
11) Water dog is still standing.
12) I get bored and bring the dogs in (not before putting diaper dog's diaper back on him).
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
Diaper Dog
This is maybe not the most appropriate posting....but it's probably the most hilarious thing that has ever happened to me....stupid diaper dog.
So this afternoon I bring the dogs in from outside (going to the bathroom and playing fetch), give them their treats, and then go to the bathroom myself. It's weird enough that I look at the dor and there's two dogs staring at me while I pee. But then as soon as I finish the diaper dog (pug named Brutus) walks up to the toilet and LIFTS HIS LEG! I immediately kicked him and he ran out of the room....but can you believe this?! He's dumber than a brick.
So this afternoon I bring the dogs in from outside (going to the bathroom and playing fetch), give them their treats, and then go to the bathroom myself. It's weird enough that I look at the dor and there's two dogs staring at me while I pee. But then as soon as I finish the diaper dog (pug named Brutus) walks up to the toilet and LIFTS HIS LEG! I immediately kicked him and he ran out of the room....but can you believe this?! He's dumber than a brick.
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
Dog Sitting
I got a call from the neighbor of a friend who wanted me to dog sit and I agreed to help out. Now I'm about half way through day one of about nine and these dogs are crazy! There's three terriers of some kind and one pug who thinks he's a terrier. Terrier one likes to play fetch non-stop! The family suggested to play just for 20 minutes three times per day (but we've already played four times). Then terrier two and three have yet to leave their cage. They just stay in there all day because they're depressed I suppose. One of them has kidney problems and so the owner left me the vets number "just in case" he goes into kidney failure. He drinks a lot and has to go to the bathroom a lot "but that's good for him." Oh, and he sleeps with me....yay. Then there's the pug who apparently has bladder issues. So there are some "diapers" that they put on him....they are actually maxi-pads stuck to a cloth and strung around his backside. I get to change that....woo.
And how could I forget about the cat! There's a cat who comes and goes apparently. I haven't seen him all day but his food is sitting here in case he ever comes home. It's no skin off my back if he doesn't, I hate cats. But the owners might see this as a bad thing (who knows why). Well, I suppose it's time to take the dogs out once again...maybe those two mutts will come out of their cage this time...or not. And the pug keeps making growling noises randomly all day, do all pugs do this?
And how could I forget about the cat! There's a cat who comes and goes apparently. I haven't seen him all day but his food is sitting here in case he ever comes home. It's no skin off my back if he doesn't, I hate cats. But the owners might see this as a bad thing (who knows why). Well, I suppose it's time to take the dogs out once again...maybe those two mutts will come out of their cage this time...or not. And the pug keeps making growling noises randomly all day, do all pugs do this?
Thursday, July 23, 2009
Striking Realization
I just had a terrible realization...I'm lonely. I've been back in the States now for almost four weeks and I'm lonely. In Copan I was surrounded by friends day and night and interacted with hundreds of people every day (albeit the majority under age 12).:) Since coming back to my parents place my life has seemed fairly flat and lacking something and I couldn't place a finger on it...Then sitting here in bed tonight it struck me like an epiphany (learned that word in church...), I'm lonely!
There's no real blame to go around on this issue, I haven't sought out friendships around here as I view the Seattle are as a very temporary place to be...so who needs close friends here? Now, no offense in the least bit to my parents (sorry to say this mom), but when I spend the majority of my time alone at home or with my parents at home my social life feels like a vacuum...only I'm the only one hanging out inside the vacuum bag. I need to get out there and make friends my age around here...that's scary...how do you even do that? I don't even remember what it's like here in the States to try and make friends outside of school. Don't all the people my age just go dancing and get drunk? I don't even know what people do around here for fun? Do lots of people in their twenties think cards are one of the greatest inventions ever or is it just me? Do lots of people my age prefer to just stay home and chill with a few friends on the weekend instead of "hit the town?" Do lots of people enjoy sitting and people watching? What if I'm hanging out with somebody and I have nothing to say? Are people ok with that around here? I don't know if I've ever had a bigger feeling of seclusion...I guess I do take after my dad on the extrovert scale more than I thought.
There's no real blame to go around on this issue, I haven't sought out friendships around here as I view the Seattle are as a very temporary place to be...so who needs close friends here? Now, no offense in the least bit to my parents (sorry to say this mom), but when I spend the majority of my time alone at home or with my parents at home my social life feels like a vacuum...only I'm the only one hanging out inside the vacuum bag. I need to get out there and make friends my age around here...that's scary...how do you even do that? I don't even remember what it's like here in the States to try and make friends outside of school. Don't all the people my age just go dancing and get drunk? I don't even know what people do around here for fun? Do lots of people in their twenties think cards are one of the greatest inventions ever or is it just me? Do lots of people my age prefer to just stay home and chill with a few friends on the weekend instead of "hit the town?" Do lots of people enjoy sitting and people watching? What if I'm hanging out with somebody and I have nothing to say? Are people ok with that around here? I don't know if I've ever had a bigger feeling of seclusion...I guess I do take after my dad on the extrovert scale more than I thought.
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